You might have noticed an optimistic, almost cheerful tone to my posts today. Well, that's over. You see, we made the mistake of running out of cat food on, of all days, Black Friday. Not thinking too deeply about it, I decided to go to the local pet food store. Unfortunately, this pet food store happens to be next to a Wal-Mart and a Target...

Wow people. Get a frigg'n clue. Let me try to clue you folks in a few things...

If you drive an SUV out to Walmart today to spend god knows how much money on completely and totally worthless crap, may I suggest professional help? That professional help I'm speaking of, of course, would be in the form of sterilization so I don't have to witness...

...If you drive the biggest, smelliest, nastiest car ever created to roam the roadways(a Hummer, of course), let me tell you sir, this does NOT entitle you to swerve back and forth across the road shoving smaller cars out of your way so that you can drag your plastic surgery addicted wife and your 12 year old daughter both wearing tight, denim mini-skirts and thigh highs through Target buying worthless crap. Please sir, STOP REPRODUCING!

If you get rear-ended hard enough to push your trunk through your back window, the proper thing to do is NOT to simply push your car off the road into the median, abandon it, and proceed to walk over to the strip mall to get in on the shopping orgy. Lady, get a clue. Please. Your car is still sitting in the median. On a positive note, however, there were no obvious signs that you've ever reproduced. Thanks.

OK everyone, thanks for letting me rant. If you're still here, you can go ahead and scroll down to proceed with your regularly scheduled postings.