The Book Of THoTH

Two men were on the run from the police, who tracked them to the edge of a seaside cliff. The police found two sets of tracks leading to the cliff edge and none leading back. The shoe sizes of the men were different and it was clear that the foot-prints had been stepped into once. So the police deduced that the men had leapted into the sea.

But they were wrong.

What had happened?

Hang gliders or para gliders? They climbed down to a waiting boat?

One guy walked from the road to the cliff carrying the second set of shoes, changed and walked carefully backward in the other set of shoes away from the cliff, then they both continued along the road where they didn't leave any prints.




Tiger

WhiteTiger almost got it.

One man carried the other to the cliff edge. The other man then carried the first backwards, away from the cliff edge.


Another: -

A man was found dead on a small island in the middle of a lake. All the police could find was a little scratch on his ceek. No one else had been on the island all day.

How did the man die?;


The man ws the world's champion fisherman, fishing on a little island in a lake. his deadly rival, the world's second best fisherman, was on the shore, seething with envy. He poisoned the hook at the end of his line and, with a mighty and accurate cast, scratched his rival on the cheek with the deadly poison. he then reeled in his line, leaving his rival dead with only a little scratch on his cheek.

I didn't get that one either!

Bob wrote a story. He died. Sharon read the story. Her husband died. The story was never read again.

Why not?

The story was an S.O.S. in the sand. Sharon's husband was a pilot. Sharon read the story from the air. They crash landed on the beach, killing Bob & her husband & left Sharon blind.

Or, Bob was Sharon's husband who wrote the story in the air & after Sharon read it, the plane crashed, killing her husband.

Bob was a tattoo artist. He put a love poem for Sharon on her hubby's butt... only she ever saw it, then he died and the story is buried with him. Hubby never got to read it cause it was on his butt.




Tiger

Almost, Bob wrote a murder mystery called Foolproof. He was right; he murder plot was 100% foolproof. he submitted it to Sharon, his editor. Sharon was astounded; it was brilliant. She would get rid of her husband, and no one would suspect a thing. There was just one hitch; Bob would know that she had done it. She would have to dispose of Bob. Sharon killed Bob on the foolproof manner outlined in his story. She then killed her husband. Of course, thens he had to dispose of the manuscript - as good as the story was, she could hardly publish the method of her crimes.




In the film "The sound of music", there is a very obvious blunder not noticed by the director. It has to do with fruit.

Can you figure out what it is?

No one got that?! Cool.

In the movie The sound of Music, there appears a box of fruit marked "from Israel." The nation did not exist at the time of the Second World War, during which the movie is set.



A man came home one day and gave his wife a live, pedigreed terrier as a pet. She was delighted and kept it in her room, the only room she has. the next week he gave his wife a present of a beautiful live Siamese kitten. She was pleased and kept it in her room, the only room she has. The next week he gave his wife a present of a live singing canary. She took the bird and kept it in her room, the only room she has. The dog never chased the cat and the cat never chased the bird

Why not?

1...They were all in cages ?

2...She had 3 apartments ?

3. He had three wives..?

one of the answer is correct.



Hee hee!

It's the third one. The man is a Muslim, he has three wives.

A quicky as I'm off for the weekend. Back Sunday night or Mon am.



What is special about forty?

U2 40 This is wrong I know, but this is why 40 is special to me Have a good weekend Batty.

The only number that will repel vampires. Just holler forty, forty, if you are attacked.

If you change the 'o' to an 'a' you get farty.

The average life span of Ethiopians.

A little piece of land on most Texas ranches, usually referred to as the back forty.

The number of seeds in a tomato.

The name of a car made in Australlia. Usually referred to as the "Sporty Forty".

The number of Frenchmen it takes to screw in a lightbulb.

When real dumb people decide to build a stockade for defense against their enemies. Referred to as "doing a forty".

The name of a book written about middle age.

I thought younger !

Forty is special as it is the only number whose letters are in alphabetical order.

What is the only day of the week that does not end in a y?

Tomorrow?...

Way to go Momma, you're right.

what kind of water never freezes?

Boiling water ?

hee hee, yew good Moms, yep you're right. Will ya get the next one? I think so.


A man arranged his escape from prison. he climbed the wall and found the car that his friend had left for him. The car was in perfect working condition but he couldn ot start it.

Why not?

cause the f(r)iend didnt leave the key.

LOL, the key was there alright. Try again!

ok
how do we know it was in perfect condition if he couldnt start it ?
or it was running already, no need to start it then.

The keys were locked in the car.

He had never learned how to drive a car ?

The prison guards knew of his escape plan, were hiding near the car and grabbed him before he had a chance to start the car.

At todays gas prices, someone had stolen the gas.

A cow was sitting in the driver's seat and the escapee could not get in.

The car was covered with maggots.

The car was a Toyota and the escapee was in prison for killing a Toyota car salesman, so naturally he had an aversion to Toyotas.

His friend insisted on doing the driving..as the escaper had to be kept out of sight ?

If it was up to me I'd say you were right. Since it isn't, you're not But thanks for the laugh, gonna rate my day higher because of that.

This happened early in the 1900s. Before the man went to prison, all cars used crank handles to start the engine. He had been in prison for 10 years, during which time electric starters were made standard on all cars. he searched in vain for a way to crank start the engine and never tried turning the key!

Joe pressed the doorbell of the house. No one answered. he climbed over the fence and found the window unlocked. The lights were off and the house was dark. he slowly opened the window and entered. he was startled to see a dark figure. Joe reached for his gun with his right hand and the figure reached for a gun with his left hand. Joe took his gun and fired.

What happened next?

He shot out the mirror.

Yay, way to go Trent. Gets easier the more we go along *cough cough*

Robbers knew that a woman had some very valuble diamonds. they waited until she was away on holiday and then burgled her house. They searched high and low, but they could not find the diamonds.

What had she done with them?

Hells bells, she carried them with her. Women are like that.

ha, nope, the diamonds were in the house.