For the past few days I've watched video after video and read article after article trying to find some underlining factor and a balance between every bit of information I come across, just as one may look for the underline within all religions that bind them all together with a single truth that reverberates throughout. Some of the things that I learn are new but a lot of the things I come across just seem to verbalize all the strange feelings I've had since I was a kid and but on the back burner as my imagination. My mother, my grandmother, and my great grand mother were all schizophrenic so needless to say I know it means to be crazy and I have always been able to keep a strong wall between reality, my dream world, and my imaginary world. However as I dive deeper in to this world my dreams are starting to catch up to me and I find that some of the things that I had in the back of my mind and played with in my imagination are not just in my head... Its scary but at the same time it makes me feel so light.

^^ but of coarse being me I'm still haunted by my same line of questioning even as I learn more and more, and it all starts to catch up to me. They have an mass knowledge and understanding of human psyche thats ever expanding and so perhaps they knew such conclusions would be met. They understand the dreams and the imagination so they give it a corporeal form to distract from something else perhaps. The truth is put forth but is so riddled with traps and appealing side roads that the original path is forgotten or distance on it is made so slow that its to late and the power seekers that are ahead of you and in control have put up a toll gate and have left nothing but thorns in their wake hopping you'll cut yourself. If it is like this I may choose to follow the road through the trees to by pass as much of that as possible but I still want to know why.



Last edited by missariea on Thu Aug 07, 2008 11:15 pm; edited 1 time in total