The Book Of THoTH

Since Cats and I have a thing going on I felt it would be a good thing to conduct our running battle in a new thread in 'FUN STUFF".

This will be the first salvo.

Hey Cats, Get someone to read this to you so you will be able to post a reply. And you can use little bitty words. I know how hard it is for you, what with you only going through the second grade.

By the way, did the neighbor kids finally stop throwing rocks at you?

Laughs you guys are hilarious I saw your gun fight on my 'welcome' thread. I'll leave you guys to battle it out

Your Socialogical study of me reminds me of a quote by ES Turner "Sociology is the study of people who do not need to be studied by people who do."

This is yet another unprovoked, and totaly uncalled for attack upon me, by a person who doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.

What have I done to deserve this onset of babble. Sure, I've been insulted by people like you before - but I had to pay an admission.

End this now. Your out of your depth in a parking lot puddle.

Wow!!! Who wrote that little blurb for you? The reason I know you did not write it is simply because you don't know what sociological means. Much less who E. S. Turner is. After all someone who spends all his waking hours watching Scooby Doo cartoons has got to be somewhat limited in his awareness of things. Oh..I don't have nose hair. I have it removed weekly by a specialist in nose hair removal. A little Chinese fellow who removes nose hair from the rich and famous, His clients include Presidents, rock stars, talk show hosts and movie stars.




Now what on earth does that mean? Does it infer that my depth is shallow? If so, your depth can best be described as shallower than spit on a sidewalk.

C'mon now give me something intelligent, creative and new that will challenge my ability to respond.

You are a woefully ill-mannered lecher and a deplorable, irredeemably boring ocular depravity to all of discrimination.

That should keep you occupied for a week or two.

Try Google, that might help. Heaven knows you need help.

I don't need no stinking google. Just because you use google to look up stuff you don't know does not mean everyone lacks those abilities you are so unfortunately unendowed with. Abilities such as intelligence. In fact I have always felt that in a competition with a house plant in an IQ testing contest , you would come in 2nd.

Well now, it is my considered opinion that the pitiful little example of a clone experiment gone bad has left. Probably to kidnap some poor soul to help him read my last post. Or perhaps to simply pout in some dark corner.

I am sorry to say that I find these posts appalling and quite frankly
for them to be posted by mods - well words almost fail me.

I am sorry to say that I find these posts appealing and quite frankly
for them to be posted by mods - well words almost fail me.

Sorry SB, check your PMs. I've given you the low down on this awful person.

Well as the saying goes, Theres no show without Punch or in this case Crux. Just love your subtle approach Crux.

As for ButtaBill, my pout is one of my best assets and I dont pout in the dark, or alone. One of your many problems Mr. B. is you lack the power of conversation but not the power of speech. The hat, loose the hat please, its a creation that will never go out of style. It will look ridiculous year after year.

How on earth Mrs B. puts up with you is beyond me. The woman is a Saint. You've been running round BOT whining, to anyone who will listen, about getting the prestigious Lab Coat award. Yet you have done nothing to answer any of the questions. As per usual, you want it handed to you on a plate. Well it aint gonna happen.

Your ineffective imitation of good posting style only serves to illuminate your lack of substance, good taste, and decency.

I respectfully request, that you end this barrage of abuse immediately.

Cats.

Cat got something right, well he got two things right.
1. Crux is subtle.
2. Mrs. Bubba is a Saint.

I figure Cat's like the proverbial broken clock. It is right twice a day. I also think that may be a record for that sad little unfortunate example of what happens when one wastes his time laying in the floor counting ceiling tiles as one of his major forms of entertainment.

Uh...Cat...or as I refer to you in mixed company, that thing, which hat are you referring to? My very valuable, historic memento from Davy Crockett himself, or my stylish chick magnet $400.00 12X custom made stetson. You don't need to answer, since I attach absolutely no credence or value to any of your opinions.

But there is a postive note regarding our verbal assaults on one another. It keeps you busy and away from other people who find your manners and egocentric nature most distateful. I feel I am performing a valuable public service.

Oh yeah Seatbelt, feel free to jump in any time. Pick a side. I would suggest you join forces with Cat. He, what with being somewhat lacking in brain cells, needs all the help he can get.

Hey Cat, does your dog still growl at you when you come home.

i am ceiling cat, and i approve of this thread.

I thank you Ceiling Cat.

I've been told I'm about as subtle as a draughthorses fart..............

Bubba did you know that the State that Cats lives in is nearly 4 x larger than the State of Texas?
and is renown nation wide as having per capita more beautiful women than anywhere in the world..
(except maybe the Earl Homestead) (Howdy Mrs Earl.. ) or perhaps North Lancashire...
I'm not taking sides here but the australian akubera hat is a superior lid...

me too momma I'll bring the wine if you share the popcorn

Great deal kaje...You're on !.....

or shucks cruz thanks glad to see your opinion is so high of us aussies

Crux:

In response to the above:

My dear Crux, your math is excellent and even though the state in which Cat lives is 4X larger than Texas, it is not quanity but rather quality which is most important. The fact that Cat lives there definitely lowers the quality.

As a result of my Texas upbringing, I never compare beautiful women, but realize that that old adage applies here. 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.' I am sure Australlia's fair ladies are a joy to behold.

And the akubera hat is simply a modified copy of the stetson. A long, long time ago, an Australlian by the name of Mitchell ('Roo) Akubera came to Texas' King Ranch to learn how to raise cattle. Captain King gave him a stetson as a farewell gift. Well old 'Roo really liked that hat, but unfortunately it was stolen from him or he lost it. History has never been able to determine the true story. Any way 'Roo had a hat made based on a description and a drawing he gave to a local hat maker. 'Roo was not a very good artist, but the hat maker did the best he could. The result being the
akubera hat.

I hope the above was enlightening and will serve you well in any future discussions with your Aussie friends as y'all gather around the 'barby'

AND...North Lancashire isn't a county btw..... ....

Now if you're talking North Yorkshire..that's a whole new ball game....

Like I said Bubba I wasn't taken sides.... But just to add over here the quote is "Beauty is in the eye of the BEERHOLDER!
and as far as the hat is concerned, well I guess its a generational thing then, you know every generation improves on the previous....

just ask the Rev!

and Momma of course I mean't Yorkshire, I had just finished my bacon n eggs for breaky and used Lancashire relish (yum)

Well thats just made my day.



That has to be a first comming from an American, let alone a Texan, with a 12X custom made stetson. Its no wonder you have to keep wearing hats, with a head that size, you'd frighten a Police horse.

Poor Crux, points out a few facts and off you go like a two bob rocket. Making up a story regarding an Australian icon, which I must admit, was very good. However, it was just a story.

It appears you are now turning this into State vs State battle. I will not tolerate this sort of mêlée. As my adopted country, I will defend Australia against your verbal assaults to the hilt.

I urge you once again to desist this futile attempt at ridicule. You do not have the stamina nor intelligence to outwit me.
Take this opportunity to bow out gracefully...........................

Never!! And I would never turn this into a state vs state battle. Australlia is my favorite country. If I had to choose a country other than my beloved America in which to live, I would pick Australlia. Because the aussies possess that spirit of independence coupled with common sense that is so prevalent here in Texas. But I do find it puzzling that they appear to be somewhat lax in screening new immigrants. Or is it possible that you sneaked in during the dark of night hiding in a truck loaded with garden fertilizer?

Cat:

I have never verbally assaulted anyone's hilt.

My apologies to Crux but not to you, my most unfortunate and easily defeated adversary.

Uh...do the neighbors still run inside their houses when you go outside?

I hate to do this to you Blubs, but needs must. Below is a copy of a letter I received this morning from Mrs B., the contents are quite upsetting, however, it may make you rethink you futile slander.

I might add, this is not the first, nor do I expect it to be the last letter, I receive from this poor down trodden wench. Our thoughts are with you Mrs. B.

Dearest Cats,

I implore you to end this onslaught upon my dear hubby. He's a stubborn pig headed oaf, and no match for your superior intelect.

We are not sleeping at night due to his continual pacing of the floor, his persistent mumbling and howling at the moon. He has hit
the bottle again big style. As you are aware he's quite the handyman and has rigged up an introvenous drip between the Jack Daniels
bottle and one of the few remaing veins in his arm. He's added castors to the apparatus and is at present wondering around the yard
shooting at anything that moves.

The poor squirrel he named after you has gone missing, and a 'For rent' sign has appeared on the squirrel nesting box. His dishevelled
unkempt appearence is a sight to behold. He's got head lice in his coon skin hat, and cant pick his nose due to the length of his toe nails.

Please, dear Cat let him be.

I remain your obedient servant, as always,

Mrs. B.

If nothing else Blubs think of your dear, dear wife and let this go......................

And when I thought Cat had stooped as low as a person could stoop, he achieves the impossible by stooping even lower. Sort of sounds like the desperate fiction so prevalent in today's political ads. Mrs. Bubba read that bit of hog wash and burst out laughing. Not because it was funny funny, but rather because it was funny stupid and stupid people always make her laugh. Her favorite movie is "Dumb and Dumber".

I did find the reference to 'Jack Daniels' a bit inovative but Cat squirrel being missing was way off base. In fact my squirrels and I enjoy a special relationship. I was outside the other day and Cat squirrel approached me with a request to change his name to something other than 'Cat'. Telepathically of course. He indicated the name Cat carried too many negative and derogatory connotations. Sort of like naming someone 'Dumb Butt'.

I will close now by respectfully requesting that Cat seek counseling, or at least get back on his medication.

Uhh....Cat, are those people still walking in front of your house with those signs.

That was weak, very weak. Could I have hit a nerve ?. Are you weakening ?.

As usual, your analysis of my posts lacks comprehension. But I understand the handicaps you are burdened with. No brains and afraid of throw rugs. I know being afraid of throw rugs has no relevance to your lack of comprehension, but I thought every one would find it interesting.