A few weeks ago I went to a beautiful wedding. My first husband's sister was the bride. Let me give you a little background to this.
Ten years ago Dave & I told his Mum that we were divorcing. She just said to me, "You're not getting rid of us that easily!". Thank goodness for that. Dave & I were best friends for nine years, whether we were together, single or marrying other people. The he met Jade and stopped speaking to me, ending our friendship in a bizarre, nasty and lying e-mail.
The rest of Dave's family though, true to their word, have always been my family too. My children who are not related to them at all, call Dave's Mum "Nanna" and were both in the bridal party the other weekend...the only kids to be involved. My second husband (we are also divorced but are together-ish - he lives in another town for work) is always welcome at their get togethers as well and came to the wedding.
I cannot begin to paint a picture of the dynamics in this group. Yes they fight sometimes but they are close and have fun!! (And arguing usually stems from caring, either about the person or what they think.) There are her five children, their partners, cousins, half-this, step-that, etc. ...and we have all been through a lot. Maybe that is why we appreciate eachother & what we have so much. How lucky am I?

Now on the other side of the pendulum...
Kathryn is twelve and has raised herself. She is friendly with my kids but the reason she is here all of the time is so that she can feel safe and wanted. She does not own a pair of socks, shorts or a hat. Her parents spend any money from the govt. on acohol, cigarettes and drugs...oh, and high tech. games. They have nothing else. They do nothing else. Kathryn had never heard the word "cavity" until yesterday. She gets into their appartment by the key left in the lock on the outside of the door. Go figure.
She is severely asthmatic but she always smells strongly of her parent's smoke. Kathryn's parents do not care where she is, when she's out or who she's with. They don't even ask.
This kid is lacking in some social graces, which is understandable as she was not brought up with any. Behind the protective wall she has around herself Kathryn is smart, caring, artistic, inventive and determined. Who would not want a kid like that?

It feels like I should end this with some insightful words on what family is. Everything I can think of sounds cliche, corny or like it's out of a Disney matinee.
Think about the people in your life. Those you consider family, reated or not...treasure them.

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(editted 'cause I had "Kathryn"s age wrong)



Last edited by Juno54 on Thu Nov 20, 2008 2:20 am; edited 1 time in total

What a wonderful story.. I do agree... we should treat more people like family...show interest..be interested.... I gather that is what community living was all about.. Our lives will all be enriched on so many levels.


I do believe that this way of life needs to be learned.. encouraged... by example..inclusion..

How often do we admire huge close families.. close communities.. full of smiles...laughter... drama.... greetings... sharing... caring...those that have a 'mate' that knows just the right person who could help with a situation.. or would want to be included or be interested in whatever is brewing..

How often are we on the outside.. wishing we could be included... not realizing that we are welcome..

The more... the merrier...

...



Last edited by steffyL on Fri Feb 27, 2009 1:30 pm; edited 2 times in total

Steffyl Wrote:

Quote:

can anyone please prescribe a book on male behaviour i would like to know how to really get to treat them to avoid the same disappointment.

I had exactly the same problem with women, my dear. That's one of the many reasons I turned to my gay side, AND STILL the same situation exists.

If there was a book on how to truly understand anyone, it would be a miracle, let alone a best all-time seller.

I think it is the nature of us humans, that we cannot be understood too well. That's what keeps the surprise going. That's what makes life more interesting, and keeps the boredom wolves at bay.

We're complex, and every single one is different, and no one single tome could ever help us understand everyone. Guidelines can only apply to stereotypical groups, never individuals.

Having said that... Good Luck.


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Sometimes, You Just Need To Retrace Your Steps, And See What You Missed Before!